You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
MIDGETS
????
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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