3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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