New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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