My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
