That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
