Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
