You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
