just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
