I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
