I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
