I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
