I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
