You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
