I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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