She is in my trunk
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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