I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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