I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
