can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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