whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
