ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The air taste purple.
Randomize
