We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
