Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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