It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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