maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
