I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize