"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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