It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
