She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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