Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You ate ashes out of my bong
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
