I'm really into asian looking animals
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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