I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
