Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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