Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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