Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
