well you can't waste a boner
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
