All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize