Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
