I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
