I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i love accidental penises.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
