They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
