You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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