How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
