this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
