My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize