And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize