if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So apparently I’m into choking now
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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