I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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