I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
