thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This baby is an asshole
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
