Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
