I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize