If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
