He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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