another moral hangover. fuck.
I've blown a few things in my day
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
