The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
