If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize