Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize