I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
But break dance skills will only take you so far
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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