Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
